You know that whole bit about how life gives you lemons?

My body feels like it is has little bugs crawling all over. The bugs crawl amongst the short hairs on my arms and legs and stab and stab and stab. I don't think I can shake them off. They won't leave. They persistently remind me that I am helpless. I haven't felt helpless in a while. I've felt stronger than I've ever felt this year. Regardless of the pain of distance, I've felt true happiness. But suddenly these little bugs appeared and reminded me that the "cage" is still there. I know I can't please everyone. I know that some people won't understand where I am or why I do the things I do. But I also know that I wouldn't make any different choices. I don't regret anything. I put a lot of faith and trust in one person and he didn't turn out to be anyone else.

I understand that there is a lot of stigma against online relationships. There are a lot of weirdos out there that use the internet as a medium to lure victims. For example, a young pregnant woman met a woman off craigslist who killed her and cut her baby out of her stomach. The baby died and the woman was caught. That is a heck of a price tag for trust. But this is one singular tragic case. This does not represent all of the friendships and relationships that spring up because of the internet. This does not mean that one can not trust people online. These same tragedies can happen without the internet as a medium. How did murderers hundreds of years ago and today find victims? Oh yeah... IN PERSON. People are just as likely to run into such a person in daily life without the help of the internet.

With the exception of a handful, everyone I know uses the internet. None of these people as far as I know are dangerous. They are not hunting down people to kill or rape. Therefore, it is wrong to assume that everyone a person meets online is a homicidal maniac out to get them. Everyday, nice, friendly people use the internet too. Everyday, nice, friendly people IN OTHER COUNTRIES use the internet too. Foreign people aren't any different than Americans. I don't even know where the idea came from that all foreigners are not to be trusted. Afterall, the United States is a country made up of immigrants. If one starts to point fingers, they should take a close look to their ancestry. I bet almost all of them that their ancestors are not natives.

All this text above this paragraph doesn't click for some people. They seem to ignore reason and listen to the television who glorifies every bad case and acts like this will happen every time you try to meet someone from online. It's ridiculous and it angers me because these people have brainwashed some of my family. At this moment, my 13 year old cousin is not allowed to talk to me because I'm a bad influence. Supposedly, I will set her up to meet pedophiles online. I am a danger to her and her little brother's safety. It's stupid to believe that I would do this to them. I can't even register this bull in my head; it's so dumb.

Furthermore, she judged my relationship with my boyfriend before she has even fucking met the guy. She says that it's a phase and it won't last. A person doesn't spend hours everyday talking to a person for nearly a year if they're not serious. (It has been over a year since I've known him but it won't be a full year that I've known he's liked me till July 1st.) A person doesn't fly over 4000 miles to meet someone if they are not serious. A person doesn't invite them to stay at their house thousands of miles away for Christmas if they're not serious. A person doesn't plan on visiting again and again with hours and hours of flying if they're not serious. I'm so angry I could spit. And if you know me well enough, you know I HATE spit.

My mom has been understanding of our relationship. She likes him. She even invited him to stay during my spring break. She drove him to Waco to see me one last time before she dropped him off at the airport. She dropped me off at his hotel the second weekend ( I had classes that week). I may be really mad at my mom sometimes but I must admit that she tries to understand where I stand. She doesn't narrow herself to the smaller picture AKA the TELEVISION. I think it's because she has grown to trust my judgement. She has been with me to meet some youtubers. And knows that I have met other people from online. But here comes my aunt with all her ridiculous notions of who I am and what my relationship will become. She should get that stick out of her ass, unglue her eyes from the television, and find out first hand what I am like and where I stand. I have not had a decent talk with her since I was 13. And I'm sorry to disappoint you, dear Auntie, but I have grown, matured, and changed in six years. I also think that you sorely misjudge your daughter's maturity and strength. She is not a maleable kid. I think she will grow into a strong, smart young woman. I mean...Come on,what 13 year old, sees reason in her parents' protectiveness even if it is getting in the way of what she wants? Most would complain that their parents are stupid. This girl understands why her parents are acting the way they are...

My aunt may not understand why I like to talk to my 13 year old cousin (I guess she doesn't see her maturity) but that doesn't mean I will let her just cut me off from my cousin. She is one of the only family members that I like, regardless of our shared blood. I ACTUALLY like her. And I'm not about to lose a family member that I like because that is PRICELESS. One can't pick who their family is but when one happens to get a choice individual ( :P ), like hell are they going to cut them out of their life just like that.... I'm not going to let her win. Even if I have to wait till my cousin is 18, I will.